A Look at The Walking Dead- Season 10, Episode 18: “Find Me”

Our luck has run out.

Find Me- Carol wants to join Daryl- AMC, The Walking Dead

The episode begins with Daryl getting to ride off for the day. Or, at least, trying to. Carol, who finds a nearby map, starts talking to him about her grandmother’s pedal sowing machine. On occasion, Grandma let Carol help because she had a special, strong right foot. Daryl turns down the help. He’s headed to a fallen tree about a 100 yards away, as the scraps could be used to help patch the wall.

Find Me- Daryl and Carol go for a ride- AMC, The Walking Dead

Daryl correctly guesses that Carol want to come with him. Why even bother coming to talk to him in the first place, after all? He’s not wrong. When Daryl’s motorcycle finally starts, Carol joins him. Though she puts the map in his backpack without him knowing. With that, the two plus Dog head off for the day.

They soon arrive at a spot and get to work, with Daryl making sure they remember this spot. In the event they get separated. They find a dead deer, but with the state it’s in, it probably wouldn’t make good dinner. Then again, what would? Now that the world has ended, I mean. Carol suggests checking by the valley up north, but Daryl had his mind set on the river. So that’s where they head.

Find Me- Carol catches a fish- AMC, The Walking Dead

Soon, Carol starts tending to the cramp in her right foot. Daryl points out that there’s not a lot happening in this episode-I mean, in the woods. They could always fish before going to the valley, but they don’t seem to be biting. Still, it couldn’t hurt to try. With good fortune on her side, Carol manages to spear and catch a fish on her first try.

Find Me- Carol and Daryl fillet their fish- AMC, The Walking Dead

As they watch one another fillet their fishes, Daryl suggests that they head back since it’s going to get dark. How much time has passed? It’s only been a few minutes into the episode! Anyway, Carol asks if their luck has run out. People fought to protect Hilltop, but losing it has taken a toll on everyone. They haven’t lost Alexandria yet, but it feels like everything good in the world isn’t on their side anymore.

Maybe Rick took all the good in the world with him when he left.

They can always rebuild and start over, but Carol knows that disaster could strike again. They’ve all had a good, long run. Longer than most. Soon enough, the dead will catch up with them. Only, if Daryl says, if they let it. He won’t let it.

Find Me- Dog leads Carol and Daryl to a cabin- AMC, The Walking Dead

Dog rushes off, with the two giving chase until they arrive at a lone, rundown cabin. Seeing this gives Daryl a quick flashback to a woman playing with Dog.

Find Me- Daryl first meets Dog- AMC, The Walking Dead

As the three survey the cabin, the episode then flashes back to five years ago. Daryl sits by a lake when a smaller Dog finds him, out of nowhere. When the Dog runs off, Daryl returns to his camping spot and makes a note on his map.

Find Me- Carol tells Daryl that Maggie and Hershel left Hilltop- AMC, The Walking Dead

He heads back to the lake, where he finds Carol. She tells him that things are different, as in harder to talk and trade with people. Plus, Maggie and Hershel left Hilltop to go with Georgie. No reason why, though. Maggie’s on her own journey now. When Daryl asks how Michonne and the kids are doing, Carol asks him how long he’s staying out here. After all, it’s been two years. Still, Daryl plans to stay as long as it takes.

Carol understands why Daryl is doing this. If it weren’t for Henry, Ezekiel, and everyone back at the Kingdom, she’d probably do the same as Daryl. Things are different now. Before Daryl heads off, Carol tosses him a backpack and tells him to be careful.

Find Me- Daryl looks underneath a boat- AMC, The Walking Dead

He soon finds an overturned boat, but the body underneath it isn’t who he hoped it would be.

Find Me- Daryl's map is ruined- AMC, The Walking Dead

As a storm rages later that night, water soon gets all over Daryl’s map. He lets out a horrific yell and soon heads out into the storm.

Find Me- Leah, played by Lynn Collins, holds Daryl at gunpoint- AMC, The Walking Dead

We then jump forward one year later as Daryl’s search continues. Dog approaches and, this time, leads Daryl to a cabin- the same cabin we saw earlier, but in much better condition. He heads inside and kills a walker, but is soon stopped when a woman rushes out and holds him at gunpoint.

Find Me- Carol finds Daryl's note to Leah- AMC, The Walking Dead

Who is this woman? Never mind that. Let’s return to present-day, as Dog points Carol to a spot under the cabin floorboards. She pulls them up and finds a note. As she reads it, she realizes that Daryl knows more about spot than he let on before. Carol is open to hearing whatever else Daryl wants to tell her.

Find Me- Daryl tells Leah his name- AMC, The Walking Dead

So we jump back to the past. Before Daryl can try to free himself, the woman with the shotgun advises him that this would be a bad idea. Yeah, no kidding. Daryl tells the woman his name and that the dog led him to what’s apparently her land. He just tried to help. The woman decides to cut Daryl loose, but doesn’t tell him her name. Hell, I’m just surprised the woman let Daryl leave with his stuff.

Find Me- Leah tells Daryl that her dog is named Dog- AMC, The Walking Dead

Six months following this encounter, Dog finds Daryl and again leads him to the cabin. The woman thanks Daryl for bringing back her dog, noting that the dog likes Daryl. He isn’t so sure about that, since what would a dog know? Since the woman won’t tell Daryl her name, she does at least say the dog’s name: Dog.

Well, good know that Daryl didn’t come up with that lame name on his own. Though I’m sure he still would have.

The woman points out that living out in the open and facing the dead isn’t for everyone. But Daryl tells her that, eventually, it will catch up to all of them. Well, only if you let it, as the woman responds.

Find Me- Daryl tells Leah to stay away from his camp- AMC, The Walking Dead

As Daryl heads off, we jump ahead eight months as his search down the river continues. He happens upon some walkers. It’s a bit more than he can maybe handle on his own, but not an impossible task. Still, he gets some assistance from the mysterious woman, who leads him away until the walkers pass.

When they do, Daryl tells the woman to stay away from his camp. Taking this as a cue to exit, the woman finally reveals her name: Leah, played by Lynn Collins.

Find Me- Daryl throws a fish at Leah's cabin- AMC, The Walking Dead

Three months later, Daryl returns to Leah’s home and tosses a fish at the door. Whether this is a mating call or a warning sign to anyone who may be inside, I don’t know. Still, he departs.

Find Me- Leah invites Daryl to stay at her place- AMC, The Walking Dead

What I do know is that Leah didn’t want the fish. She says as much when she later finds Daryl and throws the fish back at him. How rude. She tells Daryl that she wants to be left the hell alone. Okay, so the two agree to not bother one another ever again. Daryl understands the feeling of being out on your own. Hell, he’s lost track of how much time has passed. He’s even used to the frost nip that he currently has.

Find Me- Leah tells Daryl about her son, Matthew- AMC, The Walking Dead

No big deal until you start losing fingers, so Leah invites Daryl to stay at her place. Later that evening, the sound of glass breaking awakens him. A frame of Leah and her son, Matthew, has broken, and it’s more important because today is his birthday. She didn’t have a good family growing up, so she knew she’d have to find her own way and family. She found that with her squad, and they fought for years.

When the world went to hell, they swore to stay and fight together. She tried to pass that same hope onto Matthew. Leah didn’t give birth to Matthew, but he was hers nonetheless. The woman that Leah calls her sister is the one who gave birth to Matthew. Leah lost her when Matthew was born. As Leah puts the photo under the floorboards, she concedes that it doesn’t matter since Matthew is gone.

As Leah stares out at Matthew’s grave, she tells Daryl that she held Matthew tight, with Dog’s pregnant mother at her side. The dead came from all sides. Leah got separated from her family and ran until she ended up at the cabin. It’s there where she saw that Matthew had been bitten. She said goodbye to him on the same day that Dog was born. She hadn’t seen another soul out here since. Until now.

Find Me- Daryl tells Leah that he lost his brother- AMC, The Walking Dead

When Leah asks who Daryl lost, he confesses that he lost his brother through an accident. He’s never been able to find the body. Though he doesn’t know if his brother is still out there, he won’t stop until he finds out.

Find Me- Daryl and Leah hunt for fish- AMC, The Walking Dead

The two soon bond. Leah apparently passed her good luck onto Carol, as she’s able to spear and catch a fish on her first try. They even share an opportunity to watch an eclipse.

Find Me- Leah tells Daryl to choose where he belongs- AMC, The Walking Dead

Ten months later, over dinner, the two argue. Daryl’s going away for a few days, but Leah chastises him for spending so much time looking for his presumably dead brother. Does he belong by the river? With the family he left because it’s too hard to face what happened? Or does he belong here, with Leah? She tells him to make a choice.

Find Me- Carol informs Daryl that things are rough at the Kingdom right now- AMC, The Walking Dead

Still in the past, Carol finds Daryl packing up. Not because he’s headed home- he’s just changing spots due to all of the nearby walkers. Carol provides some clothing for Daryl to stay warm, but this isn’t why she’s really here. She explains that it might be awhile before she comes back, due to how tough things are at the Kingdom. Daryl reminds Carol that she doesn’t need his permission to move on with her life.

Not that Carol wants Daryl to move on with his life. She just wants him to find some peace. She doesn’t want to lose him because he can’t figure out when to stop. Daryl is glad that Carol found her peace, but he assures her that she won’t lose him. With that, Daryl heads off.

Find Me- Daryl leaves a note for Leah- AMC, The Walking Dead

He soon returns to Leah’s cabin, looking much worse than before. He does manage to find Dog, but no Leah. So instead, he writes a note that reads: “I belong with you. Find me,” and then buries it under the floorboards. He and Dog soon leave the cabin.

Find Me- Carol tells Daryl to not blame himself when people go missing- AMC, The Walking Dead

In the present, Daryl admits that he should’ve been there for Leah, even though there’s no telling if she’s still alive now. Daryl gets agitated at Carol’s suggestion that Leah just left. Carol tells Daryl that he has to stop thinking that every time he loses someone that it’s because of him. Losing Leah isn’t his fault. Same with Rick. Or Connie. No. On Connie, Daryl blames that on Carol because she never knows when to stop.

Find Me- Daryl won't stop Carol from running anymore- AMC, The Walking Dead

Carol again apologizes for her actions leading to Connie’s disappearance. She’s not sorry for going after the horde or making Alpha pay for what he did to Henry. In the end, she was right. To Daryl, that’s all that matters to Carol: being right. Carol realizes this isn’t just about Connie, Leah, or anyone else.

It’s not. Daryl tells Carol that she shouldn’t have come. She didn’t want to hunt- she wanted to run. Between Alexandria and what the Whisperers did, Carol couldn’t deal with the guilt, so she made it Daryl’s problem.

Find Me- Carol tells Daryl about his problem with wanting to save everyone- AMC, The Walking Dead

Carol counters that Daryl’s problem is thinking he has to save everyone. She doesn’t need a martyr or savior. Well, yeah, because most of the Saviors are gone. Carol just needs a friend, but Daryl points out that friends don’t have the same damn conversation over and over again. Daryl is sick of it, but if that’s the case, Carol says that he should’ve let her get back on the boat.

On that, Daryl agrees. He stopped her from running, but he now acknowledges that he shouldn’t have. If she wants to run, she can. Daryl knows where he’s supposed to be, but he won’t stop Carol this time. Once again, Carol points out that she’s right. But this time, the luck between her and Daryl has run out.

Carol then goes off to fix the door, leaving Daryl on his own as the episode comes to a close.

Well, that was rough. For another pretty lowkey episode, all the emotions came rushing out towards the end. That’s a good way to build towards what could have been a pretty standard ending. If this had been any other pair of characters, this episode would not have been as interesting. Carol and Daryl have such a rich history together that makes their scenes worth watching.

Sure, like the previous episode, not a lot happens. More so when you consider that much of this is a flashback episode. But I find this flashback episode preferable to something like “Scars.” Both episodes fill in missing blanks, but I find the development for Daryl here better handled than I did with Michonne in “Scars.”

Find Me- Daryl makes a note on his map- AMC, The Walking Dead

For one, I like that someone still spent some time looking for Rick. Of course, it can be assumed that many did search after Rick went missing. But if there’s anyone who would put in a lot of time to that search, it would be Daryl. Between Sophia and Beth, he does care about helping people. Even if he doesn’t show it. What he can’t do is save everyone, but that won’t stop him from at least trying.

A- Aftermath, Rick calls Daryl his brother- AMC, The Walking Dead

We may know why Daryl can’t find Rick, which is what makes the search harder to watch because Daryl’s not going to get what he wants. Even though Rick is gone, his presence is still felt even now, but more so in an episode like this with Daryl searching for him. I didn’t think the episode would even mention Rick by name, so I was surprised when that happened towards the end.

Find Me- Daryl in the rain- AMC, The Walking Dead

I also like that the search isn’t easy for Daryl. For one, besides looking by the river, he has no frame of reference. The weather wasn’t on his side all of the time. Oh, and he still has to contend with walkers. All on his own. Though Daryl would prefer it that way.

Contrary to what Carol said, I think Daryl knows in his heart that he can’t save everyone. Plus, he knows that when people go missing, it’s not his fault. Still, it’s an itch that he has to scratch in order to find some closure.

Find Me- Daryl and Leah watch an eclipse- AMC, The Walking Dead

I assume that once Leah went missing, the search for Rick took a backseat to find her instead. Leah is an interesting one-off character. She’s got a lot in common with Daryl in that she prefers to be on her own, but also finds comfort in a family that isn’t hers by blood. The same way Rick calls Daryl his brother, Leah found herself a sister even though the two weren’t actually related.

Find Me- Leah holds Daryl at gunpoint- AMC, The Walking Dead

With Daryl and Leah, it’s good that the two didn’t hit it off from the start. Like anyone, Leah would be suspicious of strangers. It took time for the two to start being cordial, which I liked. Plus, I found it a bit funny that only when Daryl told Leah to stay away from him did she finally reveal her name. It was a strange bond, but then again, Daryl’s interactions with women in particular tend to be strange.

It might be the most animated I’ve seen Daryl since….ever, maybe.

Find Me- Leah learns that Daryl is going away for a few days- AMC, The Walking Dead

Another thing I appreciate is that Leah’s fate is left unknown. It would be easy for the writers to have Daryl stumble upon her body or discover her as a walker, but that’s not the case. Maybe she’s dead, or maybe she’s just out there. We don’t know. Perhaps we’ll never know, but it’s nice that the show introduced a new character and didn’t kill them off in the same episode.

It’s minor praise, I know. Especially considering that Leah only appears in flashbacks and Daryl’s made no mention of her. So it would be easy to assume that she had died. But no. Her fate is left up in the air, which I like.

The recurring message of the dead catching up to you was nice as well. I’d have easily bought this as just another conversation between Daryl and Carol, but to hear Daryl first have this talk with Leah was a nice connection. Considering Daryl didn’t tell Carol everything about his encounter with Leah, that can be chalked up to a coincidence.

Find Me- Daryl tells Carol that she always has to be right- AMC, The Walking Dead

Still, as strong as the chemistry between Daryl and Carol is, it has its limits. Daryl’s not a talker, as much as he opens up to Carol. So him still blaming her for Connie’s disappearance feels like an overdue conversation. Especially since Carol wanted Daryl to blame her when Connie first vanished due to her actions. Plus, while Daryl was glad when Carol first returned, even he now admits he should’ve just let her leave.

Find Me- Carol tells Daryl that she needs a friend, not a savior- AMC, The Walking Dead

It’s harsh for Carol to hear, but she doesn’t crumble. In the end, she does want to be right about a lot of things. Carol is all about the endgame. It’s why she went after the horde. It’s why she freed Negan to make sure Alpha would die. As long as Carol achieves her goal, to hell with the means. Even if that means other people get hurt or go missing in the process.

That Carol and Daryl have such a fiery argument shows that their bond is on the ropes. They’ve had tense conversations before, and I’m sure they’ll come to terms down the line. But as it stands, perhaps their luck has run out.

“Find Me” explored gave Daryl and Carol some good character developing moments. It furthered showed how Rick’s disappearance impacted Daryl, but furthered his determination to find his brother. The introduction of Leah made for some great scenes between her and Daryl. Again, the decision to leave her fate unknown, I feel, was a good call.

In present-day, though, Daryl and Carol’s friendship is on rocky territory. I’m sure they’ll patch things up- they’ve got a spin-off to prepare for, after all- but no telling how long that may take.

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