A Look at Californication- Season 7, Episode 4: “Dicks”

“Dicks” is aptly named.  We get a lot of mentions of dicks, lot of dick waving, dick playing, and overall dickery for many of the characters.  Not a bad thing, but it’s worth mentioning.  After last week’s tumultuous first day on the job for Levon, he and Hank take another chance for some father-son bonding, and Mom’s along for the ride, too.  Oh, and Charlie got his mojo back, too.  Good for him and Marcy.

Dicks- Hank and Julia shotgun a joint

The episode begins with Hank taking some puffs from a joint outside the studio before Julia walks up to him.  Apparently, she’s been coming by to visit Levon every day, so Hank wants her to dial back the mother bear instinct.  Turns out that she’s there for an appointment.  Rath mentioned a small role for the show and while Julia is nervous, Hank talks her into the audition.  Shotgunning some pot with Hank may have helped, too.

Dicks- Rath shows Julia's audition to Hank

At the office, Rath plays Julia’s audition tape for Hank to see.  He’s enamored with her, to say the least, but she did earn the role of secretary at the police station on the show.  This means that she would be around a lot.  A lot.  Rath asks Hank if it would be cool if to pursue her, but Hank is more focused on how Levon would react.  But hey, Levon works for Rath, not the other way around.  Besides, Hank isn’t looking to rekindle his love with Julia, so it’s cool.

Dicks- Goldie meets with Charlie to discuss her future

Charlie, meanwhile, meets with Goldie, who has cleaned up since we last saw her.  She agreed to sit and talk with Charlie because Hank begged her to.  Charlie’s done his research on Goldie, who apparently wrote an episode of Dawson’s Creek.  But don’t worry.  He’s not gay.  Anymore.  He went through a pretend phase, you know.  He admires Goldie’s sharp tongue and doesn’t think that Goldie’s looks work against her in the professional world.  There’s a chance she would consider him as a manager, except she already has one.  In fact, just talking with Charlie just makes her feel dirty, like she’s cheating on her manager.  Though she’s not very fond of her manager, who she refers to as “old balls.”  Gross.

Dicks- Levon tells Hank that he's head over heels for Melanie and wants advice

Hank returns to Julia’s home, but Levon is in a funk.  He’s head over heels for Melanie, but maybe he should shoot lower, Hank says.  However, Levon is already shooting for Melanie.  In fact, he shot his load at work while thinking of her.  Levon should have a long conversation with Charlie about this type of thing.  Also, Levon’s competing with the director for Melanie’s attention, but Hank doesn’t see him as a challenge: he’s only a television director who is stuck in the middle of the ladder.  Levon has nowhere else to go but up.

A jubilant Julia comes out with great news: she got the part!  Levon is less ecstatic, but it doesn’t kill Julia’s buzz.  In fact, she wants to go out and celebrate.  And Hank’s coming, too.

Dicks- Julia, Levon and Hank at bar, Levon gets text from Melanie

The three head to a bar, but Levon is more interested in scoping out the pretty young things all around him.  Julia, as any mother would, advises her son that any man can be a dick, but he should be a gentleman.  Bad advice for a guy who realistically wants to get the girl, Julia.  Levon gets a text from Melanie: he’s needed back at the office.

While Julia heads to the ladies’ room, Levon consults Hank for advice.  Hank does indeed advise: make his intentions known, but don’t be creepy or whip out his cock.  Very good advice.

Dicks- Goldie tells Charlie that she wants to take down Rath

Back to Goldie and Charlie, who sees the two having a very bright future.  Goldie has big goals, though: she wants to run the show.  To her, Rath is just a hack who coasts on his résumé.  If Charlie can get rid of Rath, she’ll break up with her current manager and embrace him.

Oh, and by the way: Goldie has been to RedTube and seen the video of Charlie masturbating.  I guess Dani put it up there as a going away present.  Charlie has been trying to get it taken down, but it brings in the views.  Plus, Goldie thought it was kind of hot and sees nothing limp dick about him.  Charlie, ready to go, makes his way to the men’s room and rubs one out in record time.  Save it for Marcy, Runkle!

Dicks- Julia and Hank after celebrating, and wanting to continue the night

On the ride home, Julia thanks Hank for coming out with them to celebrate, since it helped cheer up Levon.  Hank spills that Rath has certain expectations of Julia since she has the part.  Julia chalks it up to her talent and looks, and while she may be pretty and a natural at acting, she’s also being a bit naïve.  She’s also a bit intrusive with Hank’s mouth, as she puts on her dental cap and pulls some hamburger meat from between Hank’s lateral incisor and canine.  He promises to make an appointment, but later.  No time for later, though, as Julia isn’t ready to call it a night.

Dicks- Melanie tells Levon about her pretend killer blowjob

Back at the studio, Levon and Melanie look over scripts.  He asks if Rath ever hit on her.  She once gave him a killer blowjob when she first arrived.  After that, he left her alone.  She is, of course, kidding, but Levon wants to know just what makes her blowjobs killer.  Rath has been through his fair share of sexual harassment lawsuits, so he’s learned to behave.

Dicks- Director wants Levon out so he can bang Melanie

The director enters the room and orders Levon to get him a vanilla latte.  Levon counters that he doesn’t work for him, but if he works for the show, he works for the director who directs the show.  The pilot, Levon corrects, but the director pulls Levon aside and lets him know that he’s set a lot of groundwork with Melanie and doesn’t want anyone screwing it up.  No matter what happens, he thinks it will end badly, so he wants to get his while the time is ripe.  Besides, Levon can be the shoulder to cry on.  Despite standing firm, Levon eventually buckles and leaves the room.

Dicks- Levon walks in on the director giving it to Melanie

He returns to find the director giving it to Melanie, who looks…well, bored, in my opinion.  They’re just going through the motions.  Levon repeats Hank’s words about the director being at the middle of a ladder, which leads to…I can’t even call it a fight or scuffle since they don’t throw any punches.  Levon does get the upper hand when he shoves his finger down the back of his pants and makes the director smell it.  That’s enough to get the director off of him and out of the room.

Levon wants to know Melanie’s explanation for submitting herself to the director and her answer is simple: he’s a director.  He’s directed movies.  Bad movies, but movies nonetheless.  And he’s got his own house and car as well.  Levon doesn’t think it should be all about possessions.  After all, not everyone can have a huge cock like he does, which he proves when he drops his pants and shows it to Melanie.  She’s impressed, but it’s not enough to make her like him.

Dicks- Julia works on Hank's teeth

Julia, who brought Hank to the dental office, goes to work on his teeth.  The two talk of Julia’s love life: there haven’t been any serious relationships.  A few things here and there that could have taken off, but Levon got in the way.  She’s just looking for a guy who can embrace Levon for who he is and play an active role in his life.  Though it may be the nitrous talking, Hank concedes that Levon is a good kid who just comes gives an off-putting vibe on first impression.  As the two get closer, they share a kiss, but stop, then kiss again until Julia receives a call from Levon.

Dicks- Levon rants about his failed attempt to woo Melanie

Back at home, Levon shares his exposure story with the two, completely going against what Hank advised.  Levon thought it would help, but it just made things worse and he sulks to his room.

When he’s gone, Hank and Julia assure each other that what happened in the dentist’s office stays in the dentist’s office.  Hank will talk with Levon about girls and settles into his co-parenting role.  The two share another joint as the episode comes to an end.

This episode dealt with taking chances and making mistakes.  Not so much getting messy, but you could say that the characters would up in questionable circumstances, as is always the case with Californication.  But as Karen said last week, we are not defined by how much shit is thrown at us, but how we choose to deal with it.  Someone like Hank has had years of shit hurled his way and has dealt with it in his way.  Now his son is running into his own obstacles and must learn how to plow through them instead of curling into a ball or running away from his problems.

Dicks- Levon talks with Hank about how much he loves Melanie

Hank’s pep-talks with Levon come off as very genuine.  He isn’t just trying to make sure Levon doesn’t do anything weird or embarrass himself- he actually believes that he can make something of himself and not be defined just as a guy in his 20s who still lives with his mother.  Hank is even more specific when it comes to advice about any and all things sexual because he has been down that road many times.  Granted, he hasn’t exposed himself in public- that I know of, anyway- and that would be more Charlie’s area of expertise, but he fully knows the dangers of mixing work with pleasure.  He’s taking his time in getting to know how Levon thinks and operates, which is what Julia wanted, and he’s making real progress.

Dicks- Julia and Hank share a moment

As far as he and Julia go, however, I do hope that he restrains himself and doesn’t try to rekindle the spark they once had.  The kiss was one thing.  But then they did it again.  And the long, loving glances the two give each other throughout the episode just points to them wanting to try and restart their romantic affair.  Hank set out this season to prove to Karen that he’s grown up.  It started with getting a job and it got sidetracked when Hank revealed Julia to Karen.

However, if Hank is serious about proving he’s a changed man, he’d do everything he could to avoid giving into temptation.  Yes, that would mean turning down Heather Graham for a night or two, which is a crying shame, but in the long run, it would mean preserving whatever semblance of a relationship he has with Karen.  But I do appreciate him giving Julia a heads-up on Rath.  That at least shows that, while he wants to protect Julia, he’s still not getting in her way and letting her make decisions her way, not based on what he wants.

Side-note, Julia must be one fantastic dentist if she can perform under the influence.  I feel like there’s another situation where her dentistry would have come in handy.

The Hangover- Heather Graham and Ed Helms

Yeah, that’s it.

Dicks- Levon shows Melanie his big dick

Levon certainly isn’t a pushover, but he needs to grow a spine.  You can see a glimpse of it when he stands up to the director, but then he sulks away to fetch the vanilla latte.  While it was funny to watch him get the director off of him the way that he did, I wish he would be more assertive.  Clearly he’s been listening to Hank’s words instead of letting them go in one ear and out of the other.  Telling a director, a superior, that he can’t any higher than he is- those are fighting words.  If Levon didn’t have a backbone, he’d have just kept silent and did what he was told.  I hope he continues to assert himself, but I don’t want him to go through some complete image makeover.  That would be too cliché and fundamentally change his character when we’ve only known him for four episodes.  I just want him to stand up for himself and be a bit smoother, as Hank suggested.  He doesn’t have to whip out his cock.  Certainly not.  He already apologized to Melissa once.  But hey, if size doesn’t matter to her, maybe being a gentleman could actually work.

Dicks- Charlie talks about his masturbation video, which is now on RedTube

I’m interested to see where the writers go with Charlie and Goldie.  She has a thing for him and doesn’t think his public masturbation escapade was disgusting.  However, Charlie’s already in a pickle if Goldie wants him to get rid of Rath so she can work her way to the top of the Santa Monica Cop ladder.  Also, if Charlie can get it up again, he shouldn’t be pounding one out in the bathroom.  Go save that for Marcy, man!

“Dicks” was a good episode that dealt with risk taking and the consequences of those risks.  Levon saw firsthand that daring to go too far wasn’t enough, while Hank and Julia dare to go too far after promising each other that things wouldn’t go back to the way they were.  Julia suggested last week that Hank get some patience.  Hopefully she and everyone else are willing to take that same advice.  Few ideas are good, as Hank said, but this may be one worth adhering to.

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