Are we really at the season finale already?  That was fast.

Well, anyway, here we are at the end of season nine with “The Gang Squashes Their Beefs.”  The gang realizes that they’ve made one too many enemies throughout their years of being dicks.  So, in the name of thanks and giving, they decide to use the holiday as an opportunity to squash some of those beefs.

The episode begins with Mac and Dennis renting “Thudergun Express” from Mondo Video for their Thanksgiving party, and realizing that they themselves should be thanked, but run into an obstacle when the clerks running the store are none other than the McPoyle brothers, with Liam sporting an eyepatch due to someone eating it at his wedding.  As the McPoyles still hate the gang and blame them for Liam’s eye loss, they ban them from the store.

At the bar, Frank and Charlie are freezing because the heat is broken at their apartment.  Why, because the landlord won’t fix the heat until Frank pays the rent, which he won’t do until the heat is fixed.  As Mac and Dennis return, Charlie notices that the hoagies Dee picked up reek of gasoline.  Turns out Dee had to get them from a gas station since Gail the Snail works at the WaWa and won’t let Dee get anything.

At this point, Dennis points out the gang just has way too many beefs, so for Thanksgiving, they should try and squash those beefs.  At Dennis and Mac’s, the gang prepares their Thanksgiving dinner just as, they note, the Pilgrims and Indians did when they squashed their beef.

Mac went the extra mile and invited Bruce so he, Dee and Dennis could reconnect, but he also invited his and Charlie’s mom, but doesn’t look like they’ll attend.  Dennis plans to get everyone liquored up so they can sign his peace treaty, prompting Frank to note how often Dennis wants people to sign documents.

The landlord, Hwang, is the first to show up, followed by Ryan and Liam McPoyle, as well as Bill Ponderosa and Cricket, who, as it turns out, the gang has no beef with.  At all.  Sure, he was a priest before he met them and now only has one working eye, but generally, the gang doesn’t see themselves at odds with him.

Also showing up is not Bruce, but the random man, played by Zachary Knighton, from “The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis” whose car was accidentally blown up by the gang.

Liam came under the assumption that he’d be getting a new eye, but as that’s not the case, he demands that Mac and Dennis can either find him a new eye or simply apologize.  So they take the easy way out and go on the hunt for a new eye.  Of course, they go to Cricket who, again, only has one usable eye.

When Gail the Snail arrives, her one request is that Dee be her best friend for the day.  Do that and the gang can come back to WaWa.  Sounds destined to fail.

Hwang and Frank have an intense stare-off throughout the day, while Charlie attempts to play mediator.  His solution is that half the rent be paid first, then the heat is fixed, and then Hwang gets the rest of the rent.  Frank’s solution instead is to just burn the money.

When dinner time arrives, Dennis makes a toast and speech about how the Pilgrims and Indians squashed their beefs, so everyone should follow suit by signing his peace treaty.  He has everyone go around and admit a beef they have, starting with Bill to the McPoyles, but each time a story begins, it goes in a different direction.  For instance, Bill admits that he broke into Dee’s apartment and sniffed her panties.

This story gets a round of applause, as does every other story, such as Gail giving Hwang a handjob under the table just to piss off Frank.  Dennis tries to get things back on track when he reminds Bill about the wedding, but Bill doesn’t remember it since Frank allowed him to drink.  Hence, the McPoyles now blame Frank, which snowballs into a free for all argument.

Solution to the entire argument?  Food fight, of course!  Well, except for Cricket, who gets  a hatchet to the shoulder.  The gang is forced out, but not before Mac notices his room is on fire from the money Frank burned.  The plan is to lock everyone else in the apartment as the gang realizes that it’s much better to jam their beefs down inside.

Much better to be inconvenient to people rather than admit you have a problem.  So, they head over to Frank and Charlie’s as we close the season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

In what felt like a ‘Who’s who’ of the gang’s enemies’ list, “The Gang Squashes Their Beefs” ultimately ends up not squashing anything since they realize they’re better off with each other.  As better as these five can be, anyway.  Sure, it was fun to see some characters return, but aside from the McPoyles, none of them had any major impact on the storyline or had much to offer besides their presence.  Though watching Liam struggle to cut a card or sit on a bed provided good moments of physical comedy.

However, the gang’s attempts to solve issues only accentuated them, with Charlie occasionally trying to be the peacekeeper, until he ends up having a beef.  More of the funnier moments come from the gang themselves, such as Mac’s complete nonchalance at his room on fire.  Another would be the gang taking Dennis’ idea to bury the hatchet literally with Charlie wanting to serve squash and beef, Dee bringing a slate to wipe clean and Mac with a bucket of soil to bury a hatchet.

As Dennis notes, it’s all on the nose, but completely unnecessary.  That’s the sort of odd humor we’ve come to expect from the gang and it’s good that, amidst all of the Thanksgiving craziness, the gang had the more standout comedic scenes.  And it was nice funny for Frank to point out that Dennis does have tons of creepy documents for people to sign.

In the end, the gang still managed to learn, well, a not so great lesson, but hey, it brought them together just in time for Thanksgiving, a few weeks early, in fact. They’re horrible people, and they meddle in the lives of others who are not much greater.  At least they somewhat got to bond over food.  So, we say farewell to It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia until we return for Season 10.